PHOTOGRAPHY��CATWALKING�COM��GETTY�IMAGES���*NAME�CHANGED�TO�PROTECT�IDENTITY
C O L U M N
DAWN PORTER
shares...
No such
thing as the
perfect
relationship...
One of my girlfriends Sophie* recently
broke up with her boyfriend, and I
have taken the whole thing really badly.
It isn’t even because I am friends
with them as a couple (I only met
him three times), it is because she
told me that she was happy and
I completely believed her.
Over the past few years she’d tell
me stories about how much fun they
were having as a couple. Stories of
them moving in together, doing
a cookery course together, how their
families were becoming close and how
exciting that was, how they found each
other so funny, so sexy, so exciting etc
etc. She painted such a picture of
perfection that I sat and listened to her
every word with my head in a bubble
feeling so happy that such love
really existed.
They had been together for five
years, most of which I was single, but
when I got into a relationship of my
own, her stories allowed me to dream,
and hope, and worked toward a future
as happy as hers was. She was my
inspiration, and when she told me
it wasn’t real I felt crushed.
With so much divorce and infidelity
When self
expression
goes wrong
����WWW�STYLIST�CO�UK
I am terrible for getting
well-known expressions
wrong. My all-time classic
is thinking the phrase was
‘to make hens meat’, rather
than ‘ends meet’. I thought it
meant that as long as you were rich enough to
buy ‘hens’ meat you would be OK. See my logic?
But I excelled myself in an email the other day,
when describing someone I had a meeting with,
I told my sister, “He is the head poncho at the
company”. “Honcho, Dawn, HONCHO!!” Fair to
say now that I am never going to live this down.
around, her relationship took
away many of the fears I had about
getting serious with someone, but
when I found out that the truth of
her relationship was closer to
hopelessness than happiness I lost
a part of my faith in love. When the
good couples break up like that, I can’t
PONCHOS:
WIELDING POWER
AND INFLUENCE
CAPTION HERE FOR THIS
PLEASE CAPTION HERE PLEASE
CATION HERE PLEASE
AND THE WOOL LEFT OVER
FROM THE JUMPERS MADE A
NATTY HAIRPIECE FOR DORIS…
help but feel that my own relationship
might not always feel as secure as it
does right now – and that can make me
lose my nerve a bit. Which, I do realise,
is ridiculous, but nonetheless…
“No one wants to fail in love, Dawn,”
Sophie explained. “You keep trying to
convince yourself it is perfect because
I recently had to get a new driver’s licence. I was
THRILLED. For 14 long years I have had to look
at that same photo commemorating the week
I thought a middle parting with my hair gelled to
the sides of my head was a good look. So when
I went to get my new licence, I got my hair cut the
day before. When I got to the desk she just
handed me my new licence “Hang on, what about
a photo?” I asked. “Don’t worry, we just used
the same one.” Another 10 years of shame…
EMAIL�DAWN�AT�
DAWN�PORTER@
STYLIST�CO�UK
FOLLOW�HER�
ON�TWITTER@
HOTPATOOTIES
that is easier than admitting it has
all fallen apart. You have to be honest
from the start, enjoy the good times
but acknowledge the problems too,
that is the only way you get through it.
I lied about how I felt, therefore we
didn’t stand a chance.”
This whole thing has left me
feeling terribly foolish. I thought I was
very pragmatic when it comes to
“No one wants to
fail in love. You
persuade yourself
it’s perfect”
relationships. Other friends talk to
me about the problems or great things
in theirs and I respond realistically.
I never try to romanticise about it,
I just listen and offer really practical
feedback – but for some reason I was
completely different with this mate.
Sophie was telling me a love story and
I got lost in it. What is sad is that she
got just as lost telling it.
I guess I have learned something
valuable from this, that perfection is
an unreasonable goal, the best thing
to do is just be honest and admit when
things are not right, at least then you
can try to fix it.
“Are you going to take a break from
men?” I asked, presuming she would
need time to recoup.
“Nope,” Sophie replied. “I have
a hot date tonight.”
Blimey.
But hey… I guess at least she was
being honest…
FROM TOP: “IS THAT DAVID
MILIBAND?”; “WASP!” AND
“PLEASE, SERVE ME NEXT”
To view a Ceros magazine you need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser and have the flash player 8 or higher installed. To install the latest flash player, click the icon above, install the flash plugin and then click here to refresh this page.