EACH�WEEK��THE�INTREPID�JOURNALIST�BARES�HER�SOUL
URNALIST�BARES�HER�SOUL
C O L U M N
DAWN PORTER shares…
Who wants to be
average anyway?
have just discovered
that the average
woman is supposed
I to have slept with
just four people in
her life. Er! So that’s the amount of
people I should have slept with.
But it isn’t. I’ve slept with more.
Does that make me terrible?
When I heard the statistic
I called a friend in a panic who
I know hasn’t slept with many men.
She insisted that I hadn’t slept
with too many but that she felt
inadequate. I ended up comforting
her and reassuring her that less
than average or not, I was sure she
was a wonderful lover.
How can there be an average,
anyway? Sure, you can ask a bunch
of women, who will probably lie
about how many people they’ve slept
with but no one’s lives are the same.
The amount of people you have slept
with can depend on anything from
the town you live in to the hours you
work. If every woman with a sex drive
could find the men they wanted to
sleep with, this average would be
much higher. It’s all relative.
I was single for most of my 20s so
I would think it’s obvious that I have
slept with more people than my
friends who were in relationships.
It wasn’t like I spent the whole time
with my legs in the air as if I didn’t
care. I got my kicks, but I was also
selective. During my late 20s
I didn’t get much action – let’s call
that my dry patch – but in my early
20s I did pretty well – let’s call that
my wet pa… Oh, um... actually let’s
not. I was following my instincts, but
none of my friends were the same.
Some were pretty consistent
throughout their 20s and pulled all
the time, and others got hardly any
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sex at all. Then there were the girls
in relationships who were faithful,
and the others who were in
relationships and cheated
their pants off, sleeping
with more people than
us single chicks could
dream of. We were all
doing our own thing
and what was working
for us. There was
no judgment, no
comparing, we just did
what we did. Then this
‘average’ pops up to make
us all question how we have
behaved. It seems unfair.
When a man discovers he’s
slept with above the average
number of women I can guarantee
the last thing he does is wonder
if he should have held back.
Women are more sexually
liberated than ever before but there
is still something hanging over us that
makes abundant amounts of totally
guilt-free sex quite difficult to
achieve. What is it? Love, of course…
The problem is that when men
are single they love a sexually
adventurous and confident woman,
but when they decide to settle
“It wasn’t like I spent the whole time
with my legs in the air as if I didn’t care.
I got my kicks, but I was also selective”
down they find it hard to do so with
a woman who used to enjoy casual
sex with men just like them. It’s an
impossible double standard and one
that is unlikely to change any time
soon, so what are we to do?
My conclusion? Men will be men
no matter what we do, so we might
as well do what we want and let them
work it out for themselves. I have
decided to ignore the statistic and
not feel bad about myself anymore.
Who wants to be average anyway?
Email Dawn at dawn.porter@stylist.co.uk
Here’s the
thing…
MICHAEL YORK WITH
LIZ HURLEY AND
(RIGHT) HIS MIRROR
I recently
went to
a lovely
exhibition ex e hibition at
the Wellcome
Collection in
London, calle called
Identity. It
documented
nine fascinating lives, l
but it lost me
a bit with one of thei their
installations: Austin
Powers actor Michae Michael
York’s double-sided
mirror. His little
white plastic mirror
mirror
from his house in Lo Los
Angeles. Sure, I get it, i
he saw himself in ma many
ways but still – it’s ju just
a flippin’ mirror!
EXTREME�
CAT-NAPPING
The other day I walked into
my living room and thought
my cat Lilu was dead. Look
at the way
she’s sleeping.
She was in
such a deep
sleep that even
when I rubbed
her she didn’t
move. When
she did wake
LILU THE CAT:
NOT DEAD
up she was
totally crosseyed
and fell
over when she
walked away. I really must
remember to stop pu�ing
Valium on her biscuits.
WORDS��DAWN�PORTER���PHOTOGRAPHY��COLINBELLPHOTO�COM��REX�FEATURES�
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