OFFICE MANNERS
ife used to be so
simple. The rule was,
in a work situation
L a straightforward
handshake greeting
was standard. Then, along with the
thigh-hating croissant, a European
tradition headed over the Channel
that’s been responsible for countless
social mishaps ever since: the double
kiss. Now greetings are rife with
awkward moments and bumping of
body parts, as each party tries to
pre-empt whether the other will go
for a shake, a cheek or, God forbid,
two. But to kiss or not to kiss is not
the only new workplace etiquette
question mark we have to deal with.
So Stylist decided to intervene and
finally settle once and for all the
questions we deal with every day.
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THE NEW RULES OF
ETIQUETTE
From negotiating air kisses to rejecting a colleague’s Facebook friend request…
etiquette experts show Stylist how to avoid 2010’s workplace gaffes
IS A VIRTUAL EMAIL
‘X’ UNPROFESSIONAL?
1
The virtual kiss is a
workplace minefield. An unrequited
email ‘x’ can label you the office floozy,
but ignore an ‘x’ and you risk coming
across as cold. Time to clear this up:
“It’s simple. Don’t put a kiss if it’s
someone you wouldn’t kiss in person,”
says Neil Taylor, author of Brilliant
Business Writing. “If your email is
“There’s a definite
hierarchy when it comes
to signing off emails”
friendly in tone then a virtual kiss
isn’t needed; it can look over-familiar,
immature and unprofessional.” As
for how to sign off your email, Kerry
Savage, who teaches business writing,
says there’s a definite hierarchy when
it comes to the words you use. “Kind
regards is the most formal sign-off,
then Best regards, Regards and Many
thanks,” says Savage. “If in doubt,
reflect the tone of the person you’re
communicating with.”
CAN YOU DECLINE A
COLLEAGUE’S FACEBOOK
2 FRIEND REQUEST?
Facebook is a convenient short-cut
around time-consuming relationship
building and takes you straight from
acquaintance to “I know what you did
on your hen night” familiarity. So it’s
not surprising many women feel
uncomfortable sharing this information
with their boss. You have two options
here according to Barbara Pachter,
author of New Rules @ Work. “Accept
the invitation and then use Facebook’s
privacy settings to limit the flow of
information,” she advises. If your profile
picture is too risqué, sign up to
professional networking site LinkedIn
(linkedin.com) and say, “Thanks for
asking me but I’m keeping Facebook for
my family and friends so I’m asking you
to join my professional network instead.”
IS IT OK TO ORDER
LOBSTER IF YOU’RE NOT
3 PICKING UP THE BILL?
Opting for the most expensive dish on
the menu is a perk of a work lunch,
right? Wrong, says success coach Joan
Bird. “In the current climate, companies
are cutting back, so be considerate of
this. Try sticking to these rules:
establish who’s paying the bill before
you sit down. If you aren’t sure, be
prepared to pick up the tab. Let them
order first – typical dining etiquette
– so you can match their style. Drinking
gives off signals that it’s going to be
a relaxed affair – but be careful.
Lunchtime drinking is no longer the
norm in most businesses so you could
look unprofessional.” Lastly, if you’re
picking up the bill, don’t splash out to
look flash. When you hand in your
receipts it will be noted.
SHOULD YOU SWAP THE
STUFFY HANDSHAKE
4 GREETING FOR A KISS?
Who hasn’t dealt with an awkward
groin-meets-hand scenario when
meeting a business associate for the
first time? How do you handle your
‘hellos’ stylishly? Rachel Johnson,
MICHELLE OBAMA MADE THE
QUEEN OF ALL GAFFES WHEN SHE
TOUCHED HRH ON THE BACK…
…BUT STILL MANAGED TO
CHARM CARLA BRUNI AND THE
WORLD WITH HER SINCERITY…
…LATER TAKING HER CUE FROM
FRANCE’S FIRST LADY AND GOING
FOR THE EUROPEAN GREETING
editor of The Lady, says it’s all about
who holds the power. “If you’re trying
to sell something to them, or they are
your senior professionally, defer to
their greeting style. Observe their
approach; if they’re leaning forward
with their upper body, prepare for a
kiss. And watch how they greet others.
However, if they’re trying to impress you,
then you take the lead from the offset
by being very clear in your intentions.”
And, if they go for a kiss, is it one or two?
The truth is we still don’t have a set
number of kisses in the UK, although
two is becoming more common and can
be seen as less intimate than one.
DO YOU HAVE TO GO
TO WORK DRINKS?
5
A week in our co-workers’
company can test even the most patient
among us; do we really have to spend
our Friday nights with them too? Joan
Bird says that it’s all about your position
in the company. “If you don’t need to
enhance your position at work, it’s easy
to say no,” she says. “But if you’re a
junior, after-work drinks will help show
you’re a team player. Similarly if you’re in
a senior role it’s beneficial to show your
face in a social setting. You’ll suss out a
huge amount about the atmosphere
amongst your staff. How long you stay
depends on the context.” Be clear from
the offset and others will respect you
for it. If you have a two-hour commute
ahead, tell people and they will
understand. But remember, binge
drinking should be avoided! “Think of
the bar as an extension of the office.
Losing control and oversharing will
always look unprofessional,” says Bird.
IS AN EMAIL OK WHEN
YOU’RE SICK?
6
It’s tempting to email rather
than attempt your best ‘I’m sick’ voice
when you’re under the weather, but is
this seen as bad form? Hilary Jeanes,
HR consultant, thinks so. “Phone your
line manager as soon as your office
opens. Tell them what’s wrong, how long
you’ll be off for and let them know of
any commitments you have that day.
Texting or emailing is cowardly and can
affect their trust in you.” Something as
small as this really can affect the way
others see you. “Business relationships
are all about trust,” advises Jeanes.
“The more open you are, the
more they will trust you.”
WORDS��LAURA�DIXON���PHOTOGRAPHY��REX�FEATURES
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