future belongs to
the real woman, who
points to a lifestyle embracing
feminine values.”
Odone is not the first
high-profile commentator to
argue that women are being
suffocated by pressure to be
‘super-heroes’. In 2005 Tessa
Jowell said: “There’s a sense
that if you work hard enough
you could have it all, you
could have time for your
children and do a demanding
and interesting job.” No
pressure then.
So is the feminist ideal
seeing a backlash? Are
women now secretly wishing
our predecessors hadn’t
fought so hard for equality?
And would most women
readily swap their
spreadsheet for a baking
sheet and a life at home?
PINING�FOR�THE�
FIFTIES�LIFESTYLE
Ali Wright, 31, from
Twickenham, certainly thinks
so. She’s one of a growing
number of previously
well-paid career women
opting out of the workplace
to become ‘prommies’ –
professional mothers. “I live
a very Fifties life,” she says.
“My husband Phil goes out to
work as a portfolio manager,
while I clean the house, look
after my one-year-old son
Jack, walk the dogs, go to the
supermarket and make the
supper so that it’s ready when
Phil gets in. It might sound
dull to some people, but I’ve
never been happier.”
TIME�TO�RELEASE�
THE�PRESSURE�
It’s a notion that Angela Davidson, 36,
heartily agrees with. Currently working
full time as a PA for an investment
company in London to support herself
and her partner David, a former city
broker and recent casualty of the credit
crunch, she’s desperate to quit the
nine-to-five. “Although I’m a feminist
I’m really nurturing, too, and both
David and I would love for me to be at
home nesting,” she says. “Supporting us
both financially is so stressful. I never
have time to get anything done around
the house and, although I’m still only in
my mid-30s, I need a break.”
A growing number of women even
confess to using family as a way of
escaping a life is tied to the office. “I
do want children but I have to admit
I’m trying to get pregnant much
earlier than I probably would have
done,” confesses Rachel Simons*, 32,
����WWW�STYLIST�CO�UK
“PICK YOUR PANTS UP OFF
THE FLOOR OR GUESS
WHERE THIS IS GOING NEXT"
from Nottingham. “To be brutally
honest it’s the quickest way to give up
work without having to deal with
other people’s judgment. My husband
has no idea I feel like this but I’ve
been working for 10 years and I’ve
had enough. The lure of spending all
day doing lovely things like baking or
making my garden look pretty instead
of dealing with demanding clients and
long hours is too tempting.”
So is the feminist ideal outdated?
Behavioural psychologist Donna
Dawson certainly thinks so. “The
pendulum is swinging back towards
stay-at-home mothers,” she says.
“Over the past five years the myth
of the superwoman has been slowly
eroding. Women are realising that
they can’t be truly successful as
a mother or a professional if they
try to juggle the two simultaneously.
They just end up consumed by guilt
and utterly exhausted.”
“I didn’t spend 25 years building
my career to become an unpaid
cleaner. I need more stimulation”
Wright is certainly thriving at
home. “I was brought up to be very
ambitious,” she says. “I diligently
went off to university, then got an
MA and a great job in HR, but deep
down I yearned for a cosy Cath
Kidston lifestyle. And it’s as satisfying
as I dreamed it would be.”
But broadcaster Lowri
Turner believes women like
Wright shouldn’t be so quick
to leave their ambitions at the
front door. “I didn’t spend 25
years building my career to
become an unpaid cleaner,”
says the TV presenter, who
now runs hypnotherapy and
nutrition clinic Va Voom
Health (lowriturner.co.uk).
“I only took a day and a half
maternity leave when I had
each of my children. Women
seem to forget that Hoovering,
changing nappies, pushing
swings and cooking meals is
tediously repetitive.”
As a single mum of three,
Turner has no choice but to
work, yet she still says that
even if money was no object
she wouldn’t quit to be a
prommie. “When I take my
daughter Ariel to play days
I can feel myself slipping into
a depression,” she says. “Of
course I love spending time
with my children, but I need
more stimulation and time to
myself. A girlfriend of mine
says she loves going out to
work just so she can pee
without an audience!”
Rachel Mortimer, 39, a
business analyst in London
and mother of two, agrees: “As
important as my children are
to me, I think I’d be doing
them a disservice by not
working. I know how
miserable it would make me.
Work bolsters my self esteem
and makes me feel like I’m
more than just nappies and
puréed vegetables.”
WORK�IS�
GOOD�FOR�YOU
Professor of psychology
Wendy Hollway agrees that increasing
numbers of women want to be
prommies, but believes work can be
good for mums. “The bond between
a mother and child is profound and
in the first few months can make
returning to work almost
unbearable,” she says. “But when
they’re both ready, part-time work
helps a mum to find her ‘old self’
again after childbirth.”
Experts are also adamant that we
shouldn’t revive an obsolete notion
that women are biologically
programmed to want to be at home.
“The idea that women are designed
for domestic chores while men are
built for the office is a nonsense,”
says Hollway. Cultural anthropologist
Jean Smith (jean-smith.com) agrees.
“Some men would be equally happy to
stay at home. It’s not a gender thing. *NAME�CHANGED����DONNA�DAWSON�TACKLES�RELATIONSHIP��SEXUAL�AND�LIFE�PROBLEMS�AT�GREATVINE�COM���PHOTOGRAPHY��REX�FEATURES��GETTY�IMAGES
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