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Sharon
Horgan takes
centre stage
Comedy actor and writer Sharon
Horgan, 39, chats to Stylist about
confidence, family and the
pressure to be funny
Did you draw on your own personal
experience when you were writing
your award-winning show, Pulling?
It is based loosely on what Dennis
[Kelly, Pulling’s co-writer] and I used to
get up to in our 20s. It’s about
capturing a certain time in everyone’s
life when nothing is going right. But
good comedy like Alan Partridge, The
Office and Peep Show really inspired
me too because I want to be as good
as those shows. I’m very critical of
myself. It’s not helpful to be arrogant
but equally it’s not good to think you’re
rubbish all the time. You’d never be
motivated to get anything done.
Comedy is often thought of as a
very male dominated world. Have
you experienced that?
It’s a mixed bag. TV and scriptwriting is
1. I believe that my opinion is the most
useful in the room.
2. I rarely use negative words/phrases
like ‘I can’t’, ‘I don’t’, ‘maybe’, ‘doubt’.
3. I only tend to listen to positive
appraisals of myself.
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actually very female dominated and
there is no sexism there, but stand-up
is definitely very sexist. However
I think it’s changing as more female
stand-ups come on the scene.
Whether women are funnier than
men, I couldn’t say; it totally depends
on the individual. I generally laugh
more at women, though.
You’ve said in the past that you’d
never do stand-up comedy. Why?
The thought of stand-up makes my
heart leap and my hair stand on end,
it terrifies me. I can see the appeal
of the immediate buzz but stand-up
comics really put themselves out there
4. When someone points out my faults,
I can defend myself well.
5. How I feel about myself is more
important than others’ opinions of me.
6. When people point out my mistakes,
I don’t take it personally.
to be criticised. How can they stand
being bullied if the jokes go wrong?
There is no character to hide behind
and that freaks me out. There is
definite security in being able to
hide behind a character.
On nights out is there pressure on
you to be ‘the funny one’?
Yes, if I’m meeting people for the first
time. The pressure sometimes ends up
making me lazy, because I think people
expect me to be funny so I’ll go
completely the other way and be
difficult. One friend of my husband’s
continually says: “make us laugh, then”,
when we’re out, just to antagonise me.
Language is a strong tool
for boosting confidence.
Subtle changes in the
words you use can make
a difference to how others
see you. If you scored low
on our confidence scale,
act ‘as if’ you can, no matter
how much you think you
can’t. If you convincingly
act as though you can do
something, others will
I have to stop myself from hitting him.
Your husband, Jeremy Rainbird, is the
CEO of advertising agency, Addiction
Worldwide. Is it a struggle having two
high-profile careers in one marriage?
We don’t see each other as high profile
at all. We’re both ambitious, driven and
busy. It’s hard to find down-time
because we’re constantly working, so
that’s definitely an issue. I got angry
when he used his BlackBerry on a
half-term holiday with the kids, but
10 minutes later I was on mine! I guess
we should be able to empathise with
what the other one does, but it doesn’t
always work out like that.
Does your career leave you enough
time to spend with your two
daughters, Sadhbh, five, and Amer,
11 months, or to have any ‘me’ time?
I’m writing now instead of filming, so
I’m at home more. I try to spend
every spare second I have with the
kids. I think it would be selfish to
want ‘me’ time. I don’t do anything
like manicures or facials so I basically
look old and haggard!
Many comedians claim to be very
insecure. Can you relate to that?
Although I feel completely natural
in comedy, I ended up here by
accident. Genuine performers
who have been doing it all their
lives are generally more complex.
They have an ego as well as being
over-sensitive. I’m confident and
I don’t crave too much reassurance
to feel good about myself.
Sharon appears in The Increasingly Poor
Decisions of Todd Margaret at 10pm on
27 Nov, Channel 4
MEET OUR
THERAPIST
Lisa Merrick-
Lawless is an
NLP coach with
Headspace (the
headspace.co.uk)
How confident are you? HOW TO ACHIEVE A HEALTHY CONFIDENCE LEVEL
PLOT HOW STRONGLY YOU AGREE WITH THE FOLLOWING STATEMENTS FROM
1 TO 10. WHERE YOUR ANSWERS CLUSTER IS YOUR CONFIDENCE LEVEL
1 5 10
UNDER-CONFIDENT WELL-BALANCED
OVERLY CONFIDENT
PULLING’S SHARON HORGAN
SAYS SHE’S AMBITIOUS,
DRIVEN AND BUSY
believe you. Flip the verb in
your language from ‘try’ to
‘will’ as this will shift your
internal focus to a positive
outcome. Substitute the
word ‘but’ in a sentence for
‘and’ as ‘but’ is the only
word people hear. Set two
adjectives which convey
how you want to feel about
a situation, ie ‘strong’ and
‘decisive’ in a meeting.
WORDS��LISA�MERRICK-LAWLESS���PHOTOGRAPHY��EYEVINE
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